No Brthday Curtosy.

"Do  you do anything for birthdaaaays??"
If you are a server, you have been asked far too many times if your restaurant does anything special for birthdays.  I am always amazed at how many people assume they get free shit because they turned a year older.  People are always pissed at you if you tell them your restaurant doesn't give away free dessert or shots for birthdays.  It's most annoying when a friend of someone whose birthday it is asks you for somethign free for their friend and gets pissed when you tell them no.  I'm sorry, I don't know your friend Sally, why don't you buy your friend Sally a fucking shot?  Would you go to the grocery store and ask for a free cake because it's your birthday??  No, no you wouldn't.  Everyone just assumes that when they walk into a bar or restaurant and it's their birthday or their friend's birthday that they get something for free, which is exactly what this lovely person thought.  As you might notice there is some writing scribbled out near the amount.  The person who wrote this explanation for her lack of tipping attempted to write "no birthday courtesy"  Even on her second attempt to spell it correctly, she still got it wrong.  Trying to hide the fact that she misspelled her statement, she scribbles out her mistake and draws an arrow to what she thinks is correct.  And people wonder why servers are so jaded and cynical.....

Math Is Hard.

I'll be the first one to admit that I suck at math.  But, that's why I always have a calculator in my apron.  But this person obviously didn't get past First Grade math. It's 12cents more than 50, how fucking hard is that?  And not only that, but in this day and age I know for a fucking fact this person has a calculator on their phone.  But, no shame here.  This person is more than happy to declare how unbelievably dumb they are; and they are not alone....

God Doesn't Use Money

I'm sure everyone remembers the pastor from a few months ago who tried stiffing his server because he gives 10% of his money to God.  First off, you are a devout follower and you are only giving him 10%? Secondly, pretty sure God can't use money.  So all that 10% is going to the church and whoever runs it.  Guess what guy, God doesn't give a shit about money and the customer who left this note obviously gets that. It might not be a huge tab, but the sentiment of the note left behind is what's so great about it.

Rocket Dick!

And I think it's gonna be a long, long time 'til this imagery leave my mind. Sorry for the blurriness of this one, but I think you still get the gist.  Granted, this one is no where near as amazing as Devil Pig, but what I love the most is that this majestic Rocket Dick was penned by the other side of the same table. One might say, hey, that's just a rocket taking flight. But, after seeing the wide open vagina of Devil Pig, I think it is safe to say that this phallic spacecraft is intended to be Rock Dick.  And quite possibly, Rocket Dick might be taking flight to find Devil Pig who is patiently awaiting his arrival.

Devil Pig?

I must admit this one caught be off guard.  I have seen a lot of weird shit on credit card receipts, but so far, this one has topped them all for me.  In fact, this little gem is the inspiration behind creating this blog. I initially thought it was a cat, spread eagle, with decent cup size.  Then, as a couple of my coworkers noticed, this creature has hooves.  Their decision, and I now agree with them, is that this is some sort of "devil pig." I guess it could just be a regular old pig, but Devil Pig just seems to be what this young amateur artist was going for when he gave me his credit card receipt. This picture was so distracting, I actually forgot about the 10% they left me.  Well played, sir. Well played.